A new year. And the expectation that you should suddenly be awash with euphoric energy and brimming with new possibilities. Reboot they say. Change. Transform. Be a new you. Be happy. Be focussed. Be better. Be excited, damnit!
But what if you’re just not feeling it? What if you just don’t feel invigorated and fresh and perky and all set for shiny new beginnings and exciting new adventures? What if you don’t feel like developing a vision board and defining your goals and setting your intentions?
I normally love all that stuff. But this New Year I don’t feel excited or full of possibilities. I don’t feel like I’ve walked through some unseen gateway that’s magically washed away the year before … I feel beaten and bruised from a year that still hasn’t really felt like it’s ended. I’m tired. I’m worn out.
It’s not the best way to start a new year, but it’s not the worst. At first I started wondering whether there was something wrong with me for not feeling that ‘New Year’ feeling, but get this: the New Year isn’t the Monday of the year. If you don’t start it ‘right’, it isn’t going to fuck up the rest of the year, just like a bad Monday doesn’t ruin a whole week or a crappy morning doesn’t have to cast shadows over the next 18 hours.
So when we don’t feel like making lists or trying new things or charting new courses or whatever it is that we think we’re expected to do around a new year, maybe we shouldn’t be doing those things right now. Maybe we should be asking ourselves what we do feel like doing instead. And then do those things. Even if they don’t feel very ‘newyear-ish’.
Because our emotions can be our guides … if we let them. We know what songs we want to dance to. And when we want to dance to them. We know when we need to be still. And when we need silence. And that silence? That stillness? That’s a journey too.
Just one of a different kind.