Trying To Be Someone They Could Love

Igor Starkov

A friend in crisis. Another relationship ended. Another beautiful being broken by another’s demand for her to be something that she isn’t. Something other than her full and brave and beautiful and radiant self.

And the worst part of all this – that she can’t twist herself into someone else’s version of ‘perfection’ – is that she thinks it’s all her fault, that she’s the one who is unlovable.

Nothing she did was enough for him. Even though she tried harder and harder, pushing her true self deeper and deeper into a closet, trying to become something he said he could love, he still turned away.

But that’s not on her.

This is not a world that makes it easy for us to be who we are, never mind like who we are. We’re not taught to love our flaws. We’re not shown how to love and accept ourselves for who we are. Instead, the world conditions us to hide our ‘faults’.

Paint your lips. Nip your tucks. Flash your smile. Filter your photos. Be nice. Be happy. Be in control. Be ambitious. Go for gold. Don’t stumble don’t fall don’t come undone. Don’t let them see. Don’t ever, ever let them see.

And so we hide our faults. We wear masks and bury our true selves and try to squeeze ourselves into smaller, tidier packages in the hopes of finding a little acceptance in an existence rife with rejection.

But there will only ever be one like you. One. Ever. So instead of trying to be someone s/he could love … wouldn’t it be infinitely more exhilarating to be the person you could love?

Play your starring role with reckless abandon. No matter how wild and stormy you may be, or shy or quiet or dark or messy … no matter how inconvenient or uncomfortable it may be for others.

Fuck them. Love you.

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