Abundance. Abundanceabundanceabundance. A word that should be drenched in happiness, and soaked with star studded dreams, but is so often shackled in desperate yearnings.
In the cyclic conditioning to be more so that we can do more to want more and eventually have more and then be more all over again, we’ve allowed ourselves to become so incredibly limited in our thinking when it comes to abundance.
The deeper I think about abundance, the more I think it’s about something else entirely. Something more like … contentment.
Lately, abundance, or ‘abundance thinking’, has become something that is supposed to attract more wealth into your life by focusing on what you do have in your life rather than what you don’t or what you still want, or what’s ‘missing’.
But there’s nothing ‘missing’.
There’s you, right?
We’re not taught the art of appreciation, we’re taught the art of hunger.
Material things rot and rust and burn, but we’re driven to want them anyway. Speak to any person who’s had a near death experience, and they’ll tell you that they suddenly realised that the only thing that really matters is love. Speak to any person dancing with death, and they’ll tell you the same.
When I got honest with myself, I was forced to admit that the only time I ever bothered to refocus on abundance thinking was when I desperately needed more. Not because I wanted to be grateful for what I had, or because I wanted to find some kind of state of contentment or inner wellbeing. I just wanted more stuff.
When I started focussing on abundance for what it is in itself, and not as a means to an end, I realised what abundance really was.
Abundance is when your family brings you a birthday cake on a 6,000 mile long journey, when everything you need that day is on sale, when your all-time favourite band is touring and your BFF buys you a ticket. It’s the friend who instantly drops everything to help you when you need it most. It’s someone to hold you and kiss you and tell you everything is going to be okay.
It’s when you do a favour for a friend and she gifts you back with a massage. When someone else cooks you dinner.
Abundance is when the ideas flow, when you discover a hidden talent, learning something new, finding a new friend. Laughing till you cry.
Abundance is stars and stars and stars. It’s jasmine flowering in the spring. All those birds that sing at sunrise. Sunrise!
Abundance is loving yourself just that little bit more.
Abundance thinking in this way, in this small and delicious way, kept me present and made me deeply and honestly grateful for all the abundance I do actually have in my life … and that brought with it an almost glowing sense of contentment.
It was something I had never really experienced before. I was so content in that moment. With what I had. With where I was. With who I was. I didn’t need more. I didn’t need. I just was.
It was a profound feeling. And it stayed with me for days.
And even though I still often feel like demons are chasing me, constantly snapping at my skirts to do more, be more, have more, even though I still have dreams and goals and plans and ideas and wants and wishes and desires, as much as I can, I try to pull myself back into the moment, back into contented bliss, where everything just is.
Because it really is beautiful here.